*blinks rapidly and uses my eyelashes as propellers to fly the fuck away from you*
why does this dolphin look like it knows something i don’t
Someone didn’t read Hitchhiker’s Guide
A
B
C
the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours
D
E
F
I just realized that “pun intended” is a pun on “unintended” and I’m literally about to gouge my eyes out I’m so angry
This. Changes. Everything.
was that John Green?
If masturbating while stoned isn’t called weed whacking I don’t know how to live my life anymore
when you’re so pale that your bare legs reflect sunlight and shine bright like diamonds
shine bright like a white kid